★ Spicƴ Ɉökēs Ȥŏƞē ★

Customer (female) - Agar mai aaj cheque jama karu to wo kab clear hoga? . . Clerk - 3 din me. . . Ladki - Dono bank amne-samne hai fir b itna samay Q ? . . . Clerk - madam , PROCEDURE to FOLLOW karna padta hai na. . . Socho agar aap Shamshan ke bahar hi mar gai, to aapko pahle ghar lekar jayenge ya wahin nipta denge ? . . Customer behosh.

American: Can you swim ?? . Indian: No . American: Dog is Better than you, Because he Swims . . Indian: Can u swim ?? . American: Yes . Indian: Then whats the Difference between you & Dog ?? INDIAN ALWAYS ROCKS

Miss: itne Din se Kahaan they ? . . Student: Bird Flu Hogayaa tha . . Miss: per ye to Parindon Main Hota hai . . Student: Kamini tu ne Insan Samjha he Kab hai Roz to Murgaa Bana deti haii

भिखारी:-  दादी रोटी दीजिए खाने के  लिए. . . दादी:- अभी तैयार नहीं है, बाद में आना. . . भिखारी:- 95 95 973764  ये मेरा मोबाइल नंबर है, तैयार होते ही मिस कॉल कर देना. . "भिखारी rocks दादी shocks" . . पिक्चर अभी बाकी है मेरे दोस्त. . . दादी:- अरे मिस कॉल क्या करना, थोड़ी देर के बाद  जब रोटी बन जाएगी तो WhatsApp पर अपलोड कर  दूंगी डाउनलोड करके  खा लेना !! . . "अब दादी rocks भिखारी shocks"

1 rahul . 1 kejriwaal. aur 1 Modi. ship me ja rahe the.. Achanak 1 Jinn aaya aur bola: "Samundar me koi cheez pheko, agar maine dhoond li to main tumhe maar dunga, Aur na dhoond paya to main tumhara Gulam!!" Rahul ne Sui phenki. Jinn ne dhoond li aur use maar diya ?.. Kejriwaal ne memory card pheka. Jinn ne dhoond liya aur use bhi maar diya..? Modi  :-ne kuch phenka.. Gin ne bohot dhuna, dhund dhund ke thak gaya aur puchhne laga. "batao mere aaaka main haar gaya," ? Modi bola: "main bhi tera baap hu, maine "Disprin" ki goli fenki thi, Chal Beta, delhi Chal desh ka Bohot Kaam Pada He!!" JINN Shocked ??& MODI ROCKED ???

Ek Mantri USA gaya to meet his politician friend Uska ghar bahot khubsurat tha. Indian : Itna khubsurat ghar kaise banaya? American: Wo samne bridge nazar aa raha hai ? Indian : haan American: Uska 10% apni jeb me...!! Phir American India aya to hairaan reh gaya k Indian ka ghar us se bhi zada khubsurat hai American: Tum ne kaise banaya itna khubsurat ghar?? Indian : Wo samne bridge nazar aa raha hai?? American: nahi Indian :hahahahhahahahahahaha

3 sardar car k darwaje lock hone ki wajah se fas gaye 1st: aisa krte h engine k raste nikalne ki koshish krte hai 2nd: nahi! dikki k raste nikalte hai 3rd: jo bhi karna hai jaldi karo barish hone wali hai aur car ki chhat bhi nahi hai...

Exam me fail hone ki wajah kya di hain, aaj ke honhaar students ne ?? . . 1 saal ke 365 din hote hai.. . Roz 8 ghante sone ke Yani pure saal ke 122 din . 365-122=243 . aur summer vacation gino 61 din.. 243-61=182 din . Usme 52 sunday.. . 182-52=130 din.. . Diwali - holi etc... Festival ke 40.. . College festival 15 din [40 15=55] . 130-55=75 din. . Khane pine nahane ke 3 ghante ke hisab se 46 din.. . 75-46=29 din. . Roj ke 1 ghante dosto ke.. Uske 15 din.. . 29-15=14 din.. . Ab hum 10 din to bimar bhi rahte hai.. . 14-10=4 din bache.. . T.V dekhne ke 3 din.. . 4-3=1 din bacha Yaar . 1 saal me 1 din hi to birthday aata hai Ab birth day ke din kon padhe yaar..??. Parent's shocked Student's rocked...........

1. Marwari: Yeh banana kaise diya? Shopkeeper: 1Rs. Marwari: 60 Paisa ka deta hai? S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chhilka milega. Marwari: Le 40 paise, chilka rakh aur kela de de. 2. Marwari on his deathbed. My wife, where r u ? Wife: Yes, I'm here My sons daughters r u all here? Yes, Papa marwari: To phir bahar wale kamre ka pankha kyun chal raha hai ? 3. Marwari 14th floor se neeche gira Girte waqt usne apne ghar ki khidki me apni wife ko  roti pakate hue dekha to chilla ke bola: MERI ROTI NAHIN PAKANA! 4. Marwari ne Sheikh ko khoon de ke uski jaan bachai. Sheikh ne use MERCEDES gift kar di. Sheikh ko phir khoon ki zaroorat padi, marwari ne phir khoon diya. Ab ki baar Sheikh ne till wale laddu gift kiye, marwari: (Gusse se): Mercedes kyun nahin di? Sheikh: Munna!!! Ab hamare andar bhi marwari ka khoon daud raha hai:) 6. Marwari ko bhoot chadh gaya , 3 din baad bhoot khud ek ojha ke paas gaya aur bola, Ojha sahab mujhe bahar nikalo..! Varna main to bhoo...

Santa at petrol pump Bhai 1rs ka petrol dal do. Salesman: Bhai itna sa petrol dalva ke kahan jana hai? Santa: Jana kahan hai hum to aise hi paise udaate hain!! ?? --------------------------- Santa Car ki Battery change karwane gaya. Mechanic: Sahab, Exide ki Daal doon? Santa: Nahin yaar, Dono side ki de warna phir Problem hogi. ????? -------------------------- Ek admi khade-khade chaabi se apna kaan khujla raha tha Santa use gaur se dekhte hue bola- Bhaisahab, aap start nahi ho rahe to dhakka lagau. ?????? --------------------------- In exam hall a girl to santa: Mujhe bas is ans ki starting bata do baki main likh lungi. SANTA ne dhyan se idhar-udhar dekha,fir dhire se bola: ?The??? --------------------------- Santa ke lips jale hue the Banta: Kaise jale Santa: Wife ko railway station drop krne gaya tha. Banta: To? Santa: Khushi ke mare. Train ke engine ko choom liya!!!...... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ladke wale: Hamko Ladki Pasand He, Shadi Kab Karni H...

Sakshi:- chay piyoge!! Dhoni:-Haa laao.. Sakshi:-konse cup?me laau,2007 ya 2011??? Dhoni:-aisa hai to shyam(evening)tak ruk ja..2014 ke ?cup ?me piunga... Sakshi- Uss cup mei toh Yuvi ne susu kar di hai.. ?

Ram aur Raavan Bade Seriously yudh kar rahe the. Tabhi Raavan ne Ram ke peechay kisi ko Khada Dekha aur Bola. Raavan: Chal Yaar Bye. Ram: Kya Hua Yudh toh poora kar ? Raavan : Nahi yaar bas Bye, Leja tu sita ko. Ram: Arre hua kya, Ruk to sahi. Ravan: Nahi yaar le ja, I am sorry O.K. Ram : Are Bhai Bata to sahi hua kya??? Ravan: Kuch nahi Bhai baat hi Khatam,  koi Tension koi Fikar ki baat nahi, tu leja. Ram: Nahi pehle bata pleeeeeeez, tuje meri kasam, kya hua??? Ravaan: Bas rehne de yaar, aise thodi hota hai, itni si baat ke liye tune Rajnikanth ko bula liya......

संता का सिर फट गया! बंता- ये कैसे हुआ? संता- मैं चप्पल से पत्थर तोड़ रहा था, मुझे एक आदमी ने बोला कभी खोपड़ी का भी इस्तेमाल कर लिया करो!

After T20 world cup . Dhoni's mother - beta market se sbji liya . . Dhoni - maa world cup har gaye hai log marenge . Mother -meri sari pahan ke chala ja beta . Dhoni sari pahan ke jata h . Market mein ek girl - hi dhoni how are you . Dhoni shocked and say Tumne mujhe pahchana kaise . . Girl - are pagal mein yuvraj hu......Haaaaaa...enjoy....??????

Family Introduction!!! A man from UP is introducing his family: 1. Ee hai hamaar biwi..... Google Raani... Ek sawal poocho toh 10 jawab deti hai...!!! 2. Ee hai hamaar bitwa.... Facebook Kumar... Ghar ki baat sare colony tak pahuchata hai...!!! 3. Ee hai hamaar bitiya .... Twitter Kumari... Poori colony isko follow karti hai...!!! 4. Aur hum, Orkut Kumar... Hamka koi puchhta hi nahi...!!!

Qualities of Indians : : 1. Jab Shampoo Bottle Khatam ho jaaye to usme Pani daalo ek baar aur use karlo : 2. Ghar me showcase me China Crockery ko sirf aur sirf Guests k liye use karo : 3. TV k remote ko zor zor se dabayenge, usse thokenge, par usme nayi batteries nai lagayenge : 4. Jab T-Shirt purani ho jaaye to usse night dress bana lo, jab aur jaada purani ho jaaye to use Holi me use karo, Aur fir usska Pocha bana lo : 5. Pani Puri Khaane k baad, payment karne k baad free Sukha Puri(papdi) apna Haq hai... .. Proud to be an Indian

Teacher: Kal school kyu nahi aaye? Student: Gir gya tha and lag gayi thi, Teacher: Kab gire the and kaha lag gayi? . . Student: Kal raat ko gir gya tha bed pe Aur aankh lag gayi thi , Teacher Shock - Student Rockzzz

Me: 3G ki speed nahi aa rahi hai Call centre : Kaunsa handset use kar rahe hain aap?. Me: Iphone 5 Call centre: Apple ka iphone?. Me : Nahi Amrood ka

Ekdam naya he...... Prove that 2/10=2 Japanese student: Wrong question. Pakistani student: Hum toh school hi nahi Gaya. American student: It's strange, how is it possible? Indian Rajnikant solved it: . . . Two / Ten =wo/en (T with T cancel) w = 23rd letter o = 15th letter e = 5th letter n = 14th letter So, 23+15 / 5+14 = 38 / 19 = 2 Saala Maths ka itihaas hila dala. YANNA RASCALA, MIND IT !! ????..   ek dum original hai....

Ek Baar Pappu Plane Se U.S.A Jaa Raha Tha, Sath Mein Ek Angrej Baitha Hua Thha. Pappu Ne Us Se Time Pucha, . Angrej: “Hi Main Ek Scientist Hoon” . Pappu: “Hello, Main EngineerHoon” . Angrej: “Wow E. ngineer, Kya Hum Kuch Topics Par Baat Kar Sakte Hai?” . Pappu: “Bilkul” . Angrej: “Achcha, Tum Mujhe Nuclear Power Ke Baare Mein Kuch Baatao?” . Pappu Ab Ye Sun Ke ChupRah Gaya. . Angrej: “Ohhh, To Tum Nahi Jante” . Pappu: “Jaanta To Hun, Par Sir Pahle Aap Mere Ek Question Ka Answer Do” . Angrej: “Hmmm, Puchho” . Pappu: “Mandir Mein Bhi Pooja Hoti Hai Aur ChurchMein Bhi Pooja Hoti Hai. To Phir ChurchKa Ghanta Mandir Ke Ghante Se Bada Kyu Hota Hai?” . Angrej kuch der soch karbola: “Pata nahi, Main Nahi Jaanta” . Pappu uska majaak udatehue bola:- “Abe Saale, Pata Tujhe Ghante Ka BhiNahi Hai, Aur Baatein Nuclear Power Ki Karta Hai" . Pappu rockzzZ...!!

1 bande Ne Ek Function Orgnize Kiya . . Usne Dekha Ki Invitation Se Zyada Log Aaye Hai . . Wo Stage Pe Gya Aur Bola . . Jo Jo Ladki Walon Ki Taraf Se Wo Idher Ek side Me Aa Jaye. 10-15 Aa Gye Ek Taraf. . . Phir usne Bola Ki Jo Ladke Walon Ki Taraf Se Hai Wo Bhi Udher Aa jaye. 10-15 Log Phir Aa Gye . . Ab usne Ne Ek Danda Le K Un Sab ko (ladki wale plus ladke wale) ko bhagaya aur kaha Kamino Ye Birthday Party hai...

Kya ??aapko pata hai?Duniya ka sabse ? pehla ?aeroplane kahan uda tha? . . . Jaaniye iss chhotey se break ke baad..... ????? . . . Surf exel - daag achhey hain ?? . . . . Rupa?? front line - raho sabse aagey ?? . . Garnier - ?? take care?? . . . Asli masaale???? sach! ??sach! ?? - MDH, MDH . . . . . Hum mein hai hero ?? - Hero moto corp.?? . . .  ??PARLE-G  ?? G- MANE   GINEOUS ??                                                         .                                           ...