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Showing posts from March, 2014

WhatsApp Funny Message: In Hospital ICU Patients Died

In hospital ICU patients died in d same bed every Sunday between 10 to 11 am Doctors thought it is something super natural Worldwide Expert team was formed to investigate d cause Next sunday , at 10 AM, all doctors & nurses stood around that bed & waiting to see what it was...??? Then suddenly Gangubai (Part time Sunday sweeper) entered d ICU, unplugged the Life Support system of that bed & plugged her Mobile Charger

Funny Rahul Ghandhi Joke in Hindi

एक पहाड़ी पर एक किसान अपना जानवर चरा रहा था। इतने में यकायक एक हेलीकाप्टर वहां उतरा ।उसमें से एक सुन्दर आकर्षक आदमी निकला । वह अकड़ के साथ किसान के पास आया और बोला अगर मैं तुम्हारे गायों की सही संख्या बता दूँ तो तुम मुझे एक बछड़ा दे दोगे । किसान थोडा सोचकर कहा ठीक है । उस आदमी ने अपने जेब से एक स्मार्ट फ़ोन निकाला गूगल मैप ऐप से वहां का पोजीशन लिया और इसरो ISRO को भेज दिया और कहा इस पहाड़ी पर जितने जीवित प्राणी हैं उनकी संख्या बताईये । उत्तर में 35 बताया । उस युवक ने दो कम करके किसान से कहा तुम्हारे गायों की संख्या 33 है । किसान ने कहा ठीक है एक बछड़ा ले लो । जब वह आदमी एक जानवर को हेलीकाप्टर में लादने लगा तब किसान नें कहा अगर मैं आपका नाम बता दूँ तो आप मेरा वापस कर दोगे । आदमी को आश्चर्य हुआ पर कहा ठीक है । किसान ने कहा आप राहुल गांधी हैं । राहल गाँधी नें कहा आप कैसे जाने । किसान ने कहा बहुत आसान..... * आप बिना बुलाये आये । * जनता के टैक्स का लाखों रुपया खर्च करके मुझे वह बताया जो मैं पहले से जानता था । * और संयोग वश ये गाय नहीं भेड हैं । * अच्छा मेरा कुत्त

एक अप्रतिम कवीता

यहाँ सब कुछ बिकता है , दोस्तों रहना जरा संभाल के !!! बेचने वाले हवा भी बेच देते है , गुब्बारों में डाल के !!! सच बिकता है , झूट बिकता है, बिकती है हर कहानी !!! तीन लोक में फेला है , फिर भी बिकता है बोतल में पानी!!! कभी फूलों की तरह मत जीना, जिस दिन खिलोगे... टूट कर बिखर्र जाओगे । जीना है तो पत्थर की तरह जियो; जिस दिन तराशे गए... "खुदा" बन जाओगे ।।

Intelligent Sales Man

एक लड़के को सेल्समेन के इंटरव्यू में इसलिए बाहर कर दिया गया क्योंकि उसे अंग्रेजी नहीं आती थी। लड़के को अपने आप पर पूरा भरोसा था । उसने मैनेजर से कहा कि आपको अंग्रेजी से क्या मतलब ? यदि मैं अंग्रेजी वालों से ज्यादा बिक्री न करके दिखा दूं तो मुझे तनख्वाह मत दीजिएगा। मैनेजर को उस लड़के बात जम गई। उसे नौकरी पर रख लिया गया। फिर क्या था, अगले दिन से ही दुकान की बिक्री पहले से ज्यादा बढ़ गई। एक ही सप्ताह के अंदर लड़के ने तीन गुना ज्यादा माल बेचकर दिखाया। स्टोर के मालिक को जब पता चला कि ए क नए सेल्समेन की वजह से बिक्री इतनी ज्यादा बढ़ गई है तो वह खुद को रोक न सका । फौरन उस लड़के से मिलने के लिए स्टोर पर पहुंचा। लड़का उस वक्त एक ग्राहक को मछली पकड़ने का कांटा बेच रहा था। मालिक थोड़ी दूर पर खड़ा होकर देखने लगा। लड़के ने कांटा बेच दिया। ग्राहक ने कीमत पूछी। लड़के ने कहा - 800 रु. । यह कहकर लड़के ने ग्राहक के जूतों की ओर देखा और बोला - सर, इतने मंहगे जूते पहनकर मछली पकड़ने जाएंगे क्या ? खराब हो जाएंगे। एक काम कीजिए, एक जोड़ी सस्ते जूते और ले लीजिए। ग्राहक ने जूते भी खरीद लिए। अब लड़का बोला - तालाब क

Bachpan Ke Cricket Rules

1. Eight eento ( bricks) ki wicket hogi . 2. Pehli ball try hogi . 3. Jo boundary se baher phenke ga , khud wapis laye ga . 4. Batting team umpiring kare gi . 5. Deewar ko direct laga to Six, ball baher gayi to out . 6. Akhri batsman akela kr sakta hai . 7. Jo ball baher phenke ga, khud laye ga, na mili to khud kharid kr layega. . 8. Chote bache sirf fielding karenge . 9. Jab andhera ho jaye to ball slow karai jayegi . 10. Deewar ko lag k catch hua to "NOT OUT" ever played cricket with these rules?

Bakre Ko maro Goli !

Ek sharabi Ne Doston Ki Dawat Ka Program Banaya, Aur Apne Hi Ghar Se Raat Ko Bakra Chori Kiya, Aur Khoob Dawat Ki, . . Subha Jab Ghar Pahucha To Bakra Ghar Me h i Tha, . . Biwi Se Pucha:" Bakra Kaha Se Aya.. ?? . . Biwi:" Bakre Ko maro Goli ! Ye Batao Raat Ko Tum Choron Ki Tarha KUTTE Ko Kaha Le Kar Gaye the..

Most Dangerous Student

Teacher: What is a verb? Student: A verb is a valve found in bicycle tyre . Teacher: What are you saying?. Student: It is a complete sentence. Teacher: Are you mad?. Student: It is a question. Teacher: Don't be silly. Student: It is an advice. Teacher: Stop that nonsense. Student: It is a command. Teacher: You are an idiot. Student: It is an insult!. Teacher: Get out of my class. Student: It is an order! Teacher: Oh my God! What a shame! Student: It is an exclamation. Teacher: May God have mercy on you. Student: It is a prayer sir!

पेड़ पर लटके दो भूतों की बातचीत!

पेड़ पर लटके दो भूतों की बातचीत एक भूत की दूसरे भूत से बातें चल रही थीं। दोनों भूत पेड़ पर लटक कर बातों में मशगूल थे। पहला भूत: यार तू कैसे मरा? दूसरा भूत: यार फ्रिज की ठंड से और तू ? पहला भूत: पत्नी पर शक था, पूरा घर ढूंढ मारा आशिक नहीं मिला तो शर्म के मारे मैंने आत्महत्या कर ली। दूसरा भूत रोते हुए: साले फ्रिज तो खोल कर देखता तो दोनों बच जाते।

Aaj ka gyan

Aaj ka gyan ☝:- Agar koi hume acha lgta hai to acha wo nahi hum hai.. And agar koi hume bura lgta hai to bura wahi hai Q ki hum to ache hai na Aaj ka dusra gyan:- Zindagi se koi cheez maango to aise maango jaise tumhare baap ki thi.   Aur nahi mili to kaunsi tumhare baap ki thi. Aaj ka atimulya gyan:- Agar koi apko dekh kar darwaza band kar deta hai to yaad rakho, Kundi dono taraf se hoti hai ap bhi bahar se band karke bhaag jao...

Funny WhatsApp Joke On Doctors: A Doctor Opened A Clinic

A Doctor opened a clinic & wrote outside the clinic: Any treatment in Rs.300/- & if we cant treat, we will pay you back Rs.1000/-.  A CLEVER Man comes to do fraud & thinking to get Rs.1000. He says to the Doctor: I cant feel any taste on my tongue... Doctor asks the Nurse to put few drops of medicine from box no 22. After that the MAN shouts: "What d _____ ...its URINE!!  The doctor says congratulations your sense of taste is back now. The MAN was angry as he lost Rs.300. After 2 weeks MAN comes back again & this time he thinks to get back his previous 300 too. MAN: Doc! I've lost my memory. Doctor: Nurse! pls put some drops of medicine from Box no 22 on his tongue. MAN : Wait doctor but that medicine is for sense of taste. Doctor: Congratulations your memory is back. Moral: Don't try to be over-smart with Doctors...

Boy: Aaj mere dil ka operation hai

Boy: Aaj mere dil ka operation hai Dost : Pata hai yar darta Q hai mai hu na. Boy: I love u yar Dost: Mai b bohat pyar karta hu tuj se,,, . Operation k bad jb ldke ko hosh aya to sirf uska baap khara tha Boy: Wo kahan hai? Father: Tumhe nai pata tumhe dil kis ne dia? Boy: what! Aur Zor Zor say rone laga tab Dil se awaz ai ro mat mere yar main to tere sine main hamesha k liye zinda hu! Ye msg srf un dosto ko snd kro jin ko ap kabi b khona nahi chahte maine to kar dia agr muj b ni khona chahte to phr muj b Share karna meri life ka sb se best msg

Funny WhatsApp Joke: Modern Mehmangiri

Modern Mehmangiri... When guests visit your home, you should be a good host and ask "Kya lenge ? Chai? Cold Drink? Ya.. WI-Fi Password?"

Funny Rajnikant WhatsApp Joke: Malaysian Plane

Rajinikanth was playing Hide and seek . . . The result Malaysian Airlines plane disappeared and 10 countries cannot find it

Funny Santa Banta Joke: Yamraj To Santa

This is ultimate-- Yamraj to Santa: "Tumhari koi    aakhri khwaish hai?  .  . Santa -"I want to see Manmohan Singh speaking to Salman Khan's wife at Narendra Modi's wedding. Yamraj fainted....!!!

Funny Latest Rajnikant Joke In English

♣ ♣ Recently china airports were closed due to heavy fog........ Later it was discovered that Rajanikanth was smoking!!!!!!! ♣ ♣ Rajanikanth did his KG from seven different places.. Today those places are known as IIT's!!!!!! ♣ ♣ Government of India pays tax to Rajanikanth for living in India!!!!!!! ♣ ♣ Definition of solar eclipse: When Rajanikanth stares at sun with anger, sun hides behind the moon. This greatest phenomena is called Solar Eclipse.........!!!!! ♣ ♣ Rajanikanth woke up one day and decided he should share at least one percent of his knowledge with the world...... Thus.......The google was born!!!! ♣ ♣ Think what would have happened if Rajani would have born 150 years ago..????? British would have fought for Independence... . ♣ ♣ Best Rajani joke!!!!!! Even Ghajini remembers Rajani!!!! ♣ ♣ Why do earthquakes occur????? Because at that time Rajanika

Rajnikant Jokes: All new series of Rajnikanth Jokes

Rajnikanth was shot today… Tomorrow is the bullet`s funeral! Rajnikanth killed a terrorist in Pakistan 'via Bluetooth'! Rajnikanth can draw a straight line with a compass! Rajnikanth knows who let the dogs out!! Rajnikanth`s pulse is measured in Richter scale! The new Rupee symbol is actually Rajnikanth`s signature!!! When God watched Robot, he said, "Oh my Rajnikanth!" Rajnikanth has a statue of Madame Tussauds at his house!! Rajnikanth is the secret of Boost` senergy and Complan is a Rajnikanth boy! Rajnikanth participated in 100m race, obviously he came first, but Einstein died watching that since Light came second!! Intel's new ad: "Rajnikanth Inside" When Alexander Graham Bell first used his telephone, he realized that he already had two missed calls from Rajinikanth. Why does needle of magnetic compass always point towards North?? .Because, RAJINIKANTH lives in the South and no one has guts to point at him!!! The appl

Killer Rajnikant Joke: Ram & Raavan Seriously Yudh Kar Rahe The

Ram aur Raavan Bade Seriously yudh kar rahe the. Tabhi Raavan ne Ram ke peechay kisi ko Khada Dekha aur Bola. Raavan: Chal Yaar Bye. Ram: Kya Hua Yudh toh poora kar ? Raavan : Nahi yaar bas Bye, Leja tu sita ko. Ram: Arre hua kya, Ruk to sahi. Ravan: Nahi yaar le ja, I am sorry O.K. Ram : Are Bhai Bata to sahi hua kya??? Ravan: Kuch nahi Bhai baat hi Khatam,  koi Tension koi Fikar ki baat nahi, tu leja. Ram: Nahi pehle bata pleeeeeeez, tuje meri kasam, kya hua??? Ravaan: Bas rehne de yaar, aise thodi hota hai, itni si baat ke liye tune Rajnikanth ko bula liya......

Funny English Whatsapp Joke - Rajnikant Unlimited

People Update Status Via BlackBerry, iPhone, iPad, Etc.. Rajnikant Updates Status Via Calculator... Rajnikanth's dog's house has a signboard on it, saying.. Maalik Se Sawdhan! Once Rajnikant Decided To Race With Time.. & The Result Is Time Is Still Running Galileo used 'Lamp' to Study, Graham bell used 'Candle' to study, Shakshpeare studied in 'Street lights' But ..... Do u know about Rajnikant......???? Only Agarbatti When Rajnikant was a student! You can't guess this one... Teachers used to bunk! While playing once Rajnikant said "statue" to a girl... Now that Statue is know as "Statue of Liberty" Once Rajnikant was playing cricket in the monsoons.... and .... The rain was cancelled due to the match. One day Rajnikant gone 4 morning walk & in afternoon police arrstd him.. WHY? Bcoz he reachd USA witout visa Why did british leave India in 1947? Bcoz. they came to know Rajnikant was going to be born in 1948...

Latest APP(Aam Admi Party) Message

दिल्ली के चुनाव से एक बात तो सब को समझ में आगाई होगी की बीजेपी के अलावा किसी भी पार्टी को वोट देना मतलब कॉंग्रेस को वोट देना होता है । =========================================  AAP is fighting against corruption with the help of Congress sounds like ISI is fighting against Terrorism with d help of Taliban.   ""हारकर #जीतनेवाले को "कांग्रेस" कहते है भीख माँगकर सरकार बनाने वालो को " #आप" कहते है""  कुछ लोग AAP और CONGRESS को अलग समझते थे.... कितना समझाया था कि कि 'गंगाधर' ही 'शक्तिमान' है! .........अब भुगतो ♣♣  32 सीटों वाली भाजपा केवल 4 विधायकों का इंतजाम नहीं कर पायी...! 8 सीटों वाली कांग्रेस ने, 28 विधायकों का इंतजाम कर लिया...!!!  "Hey There! I'm using Arvind Kejriwal" - Sheila Dikshit's current WhatsApp status :)  बधाई हो दिल्ली, आपको छोटा कांग्रेस हुआ है! AAP + Congress

ƒunny Dhoom 3 Movie Logic

1. If you Take Loan From Bank, and if banks asks for repayment...They're wrong !! 2. Chicago Police Department Thinks Mumbai Police has better knowledge of Chicago State 3. Abhishek Bachan's Auto Rickshaw Is The Ultimate Vehicle Ever. 4. Aamir Khan's BMW Bike can turn to anything...almost anything - Boat - Aeroplane - Submarine - Tooth Brush - Cell Phone - TV Remote - etc... 5. Abhishek Bachan Can have bike fallen onto him but still can get up and arrive at Crime Scene From Anywhere. 6. Cop from Mumbai has better Knowledge of chicago roads than Chicago Police it self. Pathetic story Line... Haha......Just Read This! Bande Hai Yeh Kiske..... Kisne Diya Inko Itna Zor.... Chappal Se Dhoyenge Inko Agar Banaya Dhoom 4

Funny 17 Shayari Collection in Hindi

Mehbooba ke pyaar mein mar gaya peter, Hero Honda Splendor 80km/Litre IPL ke matches dekh ke logon ko maza aaraha hain, 12 saal se CID ka Daya ek hi Qualis Chala raha hain Na jaan na pehchaan, tu mera mehmaan, And the award goes to A.R.Rehman. Manchester United mein khelta hain ROONEY ACP Pradhuymann ne kaha " aakhir chahta kya hain khooni" Kisiko na thi, mere pyaar ki khabar,Kisiko na thi, mere pyaar ki khabar, Diagram galat ho gaya, rubber de rubber Teri adao pe main waari waari.. Dial 139 for railway enquiry. Na jine ki aarzu na marne ka khauf.. The number you are trying is currently switched off. Apne gamo ko bas dil me daba lo. Naya godrej powder hair dye,Bas kaato gholo aur laga lo. yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak.... Cameraman praful ke saath deepak chaurasia AAJ TAK.. mehgai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo.. mehgai ki iss daur mein karna padtahai apne kh

A Best Message from facebook in Hindi

लड़का हैंडसम होना चाहिए, ‘स्मार्ट’ तो फोन भी होते हैं। फोन तो आईफोन होना चाहिए, ‘S1, S2...S4’ तो ट्रेन के डिब्बे भी होते हैं। इंसान का दिल बड़ा होना चाहिए, ‘छोटा’ तो भीम भी है। व्यक्ति को समझदार होना चाहिए, ‘सेंसटिव’ तो टूथपेस्ट भी है। टीचर ज्यादा नंबर देने वाला होना चाहिए, ‘अंडा’ तो मुर्गी भी देती है। युवा राष्ट्रवादी होना चाहिए, ‘कूल’ तो नवरत्न तेल भी है। राष्ट्रपति कलाम होना चाहिए, ‘मुखर्जी’ तो रानी भी है। बाथरूम में हेयर ड्रायर होना चाहिए, ‘टॉवल’ तो श्रीसंत के पास भी है। लड़की में अक्ल होनी चाहिए, ‘सूरत’ तो गुजरात में भी है। मोबाइल जनरल मोड पर होना चाहिए, ‘साइलेंट’ तो मनमोहन भी हैं। सेब मीठा होना चाहिए, ‘लाल’ तो आडवाणी भी हैं। लड़का द्रविड जैसा होना चाहिए, ‘राहुल’ तो गांधी भी है। घूमना तो हिल स्टेशन पर चाहिए, ‘गोवा’ तो पान मसाला भी है। दवाई ठीक करने के लिए होना चाहिए, ‘टेबलेट’ तो सैमसंग का भी है। रिप्लाई ढंग का होना चाहिए, ‘Hmmm’ तो भैंस भी करती है।

FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT Without MBA

PAPPU Found Rs. 100/- He Went To A 5 Star Hotel For Dinner... Bill Rs. 3000/- He Was Unable To Pay!!! Manager Handed Him To Police!!! He Gave Rs. 100/- To Policeman & Free!!! Its Called FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT Without MBA..!!!

Unlimited Pathan Jokes

Pathan: Yar Kal Abba Ne Bohat Mara. 2nd Pathan: Kyon? 1st Pathan: Kuch Nahi, Main ne Bas Itna Poocha Tha, “Kaminey” Film Dekhne Chalen ------------------------------------------------------------------ Ek Sindhi Aur Pathan ka Interview Tha: Sindhi se: Q: Taleem A: B.A Q: Pakistan kab bana? A: Koshish pehle se jari thi per 1947 mai. Q: Pakistan ka PM kon hai? A: Boht aye gaye hain lekin ab Geelani Sahab hain. Pathan ye sub sun raha tha usne teeno ans yaad ker liye. Pathan se: Q: Naam? A: B.A Q: Kab Paida huwe? A: Koshish pehle se jari thi per 1947 mai. Q: Baap ka Naam? A: Boht aye gaye hain lekin ab Geelani Sahab hain. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Pathan Drive In To - Way Cross NO ENTRY Board Police: No ENTRY Ka Board Nai Dekha ? Pathan: Mujhe Laga Film Ka Poster Hai.. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Teacher: Cheel ko English Main kya Kehte hain? Pathan: Eagle. Teacher: Agar

Height of Challenge

HEIGHT OF CHALLENGE: A guy left whole answer sheet blank in an exam... & wrote this on the Last Page:"Agar Apne Bap KI Aulad Ha TO Pas Kar ke Dikha"

ƒunny Letter To Principal About Exam!

Letter To Principal.... Salaam kaminey.!! yeh bata kaun haramkhor paper set karta hai....? Kamino,students ki jaan nikal jati hai.. Upar se kutte paper checking to aise karta hai jaise apni maa ki maut ka badla le raha ho... :-> . Aisa sylbus banaya hai jaise tumhare yahan to haramkhor sab topper hi janme hai.. .tera baap bhi is paper me pass nai hoga. tu khud is papr mein 10 baar fail hoga. tu kabhi bahar mil saale.. bataunga tujhe... Your's sincerely, Pagal hu kya, jo apna naam likhunga..

Best Winter Jokes

Ek REXONA Naam ki Ladki Thi Jiske Parents ka Naam DAYNA or CINTHOL Tha. Ek MARGO Naam ka ladka Tha Jo REXONA Ko Love Karta Tha or REXONA Bhi MARGO Ko Apna LIFEBOY Banana Chahti Thi. Dono Ka Love PEARS ki Tarah Bilkul Saaf Tha. 1 din Dono ki Shaadi BREEZE Garden Mein Hoti Hai. Shaadi Mein DETTOL , MEDIMIX,LUX, FAA , NIRMA , VIVEL, DOVE bhi. Aate Hai. Shadi ke kuch Sal Bad Unke Judwa Bache Hote Hai Jinka Naam Hota Hai... JONSON & JONSON. Haso Mat... Ye Ek Tarika Tha Aapko Batane Ka Ki market Mein bahut type ka saabun milta hain... Nahaa Liya Karo... Thand sab ke liye hai !!! Enjoy the winters...

Do we know actual full form of some words???

Do we know actual full form of some words??? News paper = North East West South past and present events report. Chess = Chariot, Horse, Elephant, Soldiers. Cold = Chronic Obstructive Lung Disease. Joke = Joy of Kids Entertainment. Aim = Ambition in Mind. Date = Day and Time Evolution. Eat = Energy and Taste. Tea = Taste and Energy Admitted. Pen = Power Enriched in Nib. Smile = Sweet Memories in Lips Expression. Bye = Be with you Every time. Share these meanings as majority of us don't know these.

Har Ek ƒriend Kamina Hota Hai

Ek sachi ghatna he jo abhi haal hi mein Gujarat me hui !!! Surat ke ek bahot hi bade diamond businessman mahesh bhai patel ka iklote bete ka accident huva. Wo abhi 16 years ka hi tha, he was too serious unfortunately hosptial pochne ke raste mein hi usne apni aakhri saans li aur is duniya ko alvida kar diya lekin jaate jaate usne apne pita k liye ek message diya tha uske dad to jaise pagal se ho gaye apne bete ki maut ka samachar sunke. Unhe har jagah apna beta hi dikhayi deta tha ye sadma unse bardaasht nahi huya lekin uske son ki ahkri iccha thi ki uski favourite place saputara mein usko dafnaya jaye sabke mana karne k bavajud bhi unhone apne bete ko dafnaya (as you know hindu dharam mein bury nahi kiya jata ) ussi raat mahesh bhai ne apne bete ko hotel compound me ghumta dekha lekin phir unhe ehsaas hua ki wo unki sirf ek kalpana thi agle din saputara se lautate samay bhi unhe laga ki uska beta usse rokne ke liye piche daud raha hai akhir jab wo wapas surat aaye tab 4-5 din ke b